Spoiler Alert!

Today's post is on all the "bad news" of college life, everything college students don't find out about until after they've been accepted to a university.  For anyone who has not been to college yet, beware.  Don't read ahead unless you want some serious discouragement.  For all of those who have been to college, or are in college now, you may continue.

Here's all the good news I was told before I started: "Everyone on campus is so friendly and helpful!"  "You'll meet lots of new people and form new relationships!"  "There are plenty of opportunities to explore your interests and have fun!"  "You'll get to take fun, interesting classes!"  "You'll graduate with a degree ready to start a career you love!"  All of this sounds fantastic.  In fact, these incentives are what got me so excited during the transitioning process, what I dreamed about when I was in high school.  Don't worry, I'm not going to tell you it's all lies.  These things did turn out to be true.  So what's the bad news?

Here's what I didn't know about: the amount of homework I'd have, the amount of pressure I have on me constantly, to get good grades, to get to class on time, to manage my time and schedule, the amount of responsibility I have, the tired feeling that follows me around all week until the weekend when I only might have time to catch up on sleep, the strong feelings of defeat I get when I don't do as well as I know I could have, the very few second chances available, and the feeling that I can't get ahead no matter how hard I work.  College isn't as sunny and breezy as I thought it would be.  I was an excellent student in high school, so I thought that college wasn't going to be so hard.  My confidence and excitement blinded me to reality.  This first semester has proved itself a challenge for me, even when I planned on it being an easier semester, and my upperclassmen friends tell me it's only going to get worse.

More than once, as I'm staying up late getting my homework done, I think to myself , "Why was I so excited to start college again?"  Then I answer, "because I didn't know it was going to be like this!  Not really."

OK so there it is, the bad news.  Did I discourage you?  I tried to warn you, but if you're reading this sentence, you obviously didn't listen.  Maybe I didn't discourage you, after all you can never really know these things until you've experienced them for yourself.  That is a piece of wisdom I've acquired as I transitioned to college.  It is something I never believed when I was younger, but now I understand.   My dad says it this way, "You can't know what you don't know."  Everything I described are the things about college, that you just can't know until you know.  Sorry for the spoiler, but don't despair, if I can do it, so can you.  All the bad stuff is worth the effort.  Unfortunately, you can't get any of that good stuff without it.

From Oldest to Youngest

I am the oldest in my family.  I have two younger sisters, but I've always wondered what it's like to have a big brother or sister.  Being the oldest means you're always the "ground breaker" for new things, like college for example.  My sisters get the benefit of being able to experience the college process through me before they have to go  They have the advantage of learning from my experiences and mistakes.  Oftentimes, I wonder what that's like.  I always liked the idea of having someone close to my age I could ask for advise and who would look out for me. I'm usually the one people look up to and ask for help.  Don't get me wrong, I don't resent being the oldest.  On the contrary, I believe my personality has been shaped by being the eldest.  Being a big sister has taught me to be responsible and mature, and I am very thankful for these traits.  I wouldn't change being the oldest for anything, but having an older sibling has always been something I've been curious about.

My sisters and I always had the same friends growing up, which means I grew accustomed to being the oldest in the group.  Even among our friends, I felt like the "big sister," but now in college, that is all changing.  The moment I stepped on the campus as an incoming freshman, I no longer had that "big sister" feeling.  Now I am the youngest.  It has actually been a little disorientating ; I've had to adjust to being the one asking for help rather than giving it, but has also been fun for me.  One of the reasons I love TLU is that everyone is so friendly and helpful.  I know that sounds like something someone would make up to put on a brochure, but it's true!  The upperclassmen have all been so welcoming and supportive, almost like big brothers and sisters.  I already feel like I've been adopted by several upperclassmen as their little sister.  It feels really good to have a peer who is going through the same things I'm going through that I can rely on for tips and suggestions I wouldn't have known without them.  It makes me feel more confident when I have someone there looking out for me.

I've already made it a future goal to "adopt a freshmen" when I become an upperclassmen.  Maybe that's why TLU continues to be so friendly: one person helps out another and then that person helps someone else, paying forward every good deed.  I'm looking forward to the day I can carry out that unspoken tradition, and make someone else feel as welcomed and cared about as I have been.

Slow and Steady...

Confidence is a quality everyone strives for.  Whether you're preparing for a job interview, taking an exam, or asking someone out on a date, confidence in yourself is a necessary tool.  Finding my own confidence has become even more important for me now that I'm a college student.  I have much more pressure on me than I had in high school.  I am responsible to look out for myself when it comes to my assignments.  The expectations on me from my parents, professors, and even myself are high.  There have been plenty of times for me to doubt myself, but there have been  equal opportunities for me to build my confidence.  I was just thinking this weekend, "Wow, I just finished week 4 of my first semester of college..."  On one hand, I can't believe it's only been 4 weeks, I feel like I've been in college for four months!  On the other hand, however, I am super proud.  I've completed four weeks of college!  How cool is that?!

If you think about it. confidence is all in how you think about it...

From now on, whenever I start feeling down or intimidated, I'll just remind myself that I've made it past the worst part.  I've struggled through the fist tough weeks, and made it out with my head above the water.  I finished my first round of exams today and feel pretty strong about what I put out.  I am now officially part of campus life.  I've already developed my own daily rhythm, feeling less and less like a wide-eyed newcomer and more and more like a part of the TLU community.  The change is coming slowly, but just the fact that it's coming is encouraging.  Instead of being discouraged by its slowness, I choose to feel uplifted that with each day I make it through, I'm getting closer to becoming the confident student I want to be.  Each long day, each exam, each blog post brings me closer to the bright future I've envisioned for myself.  My confidence is growing slow and steady...

A Crash Course in Focus

This week, I was challenged to work through what sports psychologist Terry Orlick calls a "Distraction Control Plan."  This is what it looks like:

1. Make a list of the most common distractions, whatever prevents you from studying or getting homework done.
2. Identify your usual way of responding to these distractions.
3. If your response is taking you away from your work, brainstorm a new way of responding that will allow you to stay focused.
4. Create a positive word or phrase that will help you to refocus.

So first I brainstormed everything that distracts me while I do homework, then I brainstormed what I can do to help me not indulge those distractions.  Already I am practicing what I came up with.  First, I'm writing this blog in a quiet, remote corner where I'm not likely to be distracted by my family or my pets.  (I've learned it is nearly impossible to study around my cat who likes to come and sit on my textbooks while I'm reading, and my puppy who likes to chew on the corners of my folders.)  I will also close the Youtube tabs on this computer to eliminate that distraction.  There we go.

I've found that the best way to stay focused is to eliminate any possible distractions before I even get started. Now I'm not as tempted to get up and pet my cat or to click on the Youtube tab to watch a music video.  If the distractions aren't as easily accessible, I'm not as likely to get distracted in the first place.

Numbers one two and three on the list were helpful to get myself thinking about the things that distract me, and to become aware of when they're successful at it.  Number four though, might be the most helpful on the list.  This one comes in handy when I start feeling overwhelmed by the homework.  There are those pesky bad days where I feel so behind, when really I just need to take a breath and start tackling things one at a time.  This week I tried to brainstorm on what phrase I say to myself during those slow down moments.  One that I've always found to be helpful is something along the lines of, "If other people can do this, so can I."  For college, I could revise it to, "Less motivated people than me have graduated from college, so, so can I!"  A phrase like this helps me slow down, put things in perspective  and realize things aren't as bad as they seem.


Works Cited
Orlick, Terry. In Pursuit of Excellence. Champaign: Human Kinetics, 2008. Print.

Life of a Commuter

Like I've mentioned before, I have lived  in Seguin sinse I was four years old.  I know most people want to get away when they go to college, but TLU has been my home for fourteen years.  I just couldn't resist staying four more years to finally become an officail TLU Bulldog.  Because I live so close to campus, I am still staying at home.  It would be pretty foolish of me to spend all the money to live on campus when I could walk to class if I wanted to.

Being a commuter is sometimes hard.  I get asked all the time, "Don't you want freedom?  Don't you want independence?  Really, you still live with your parents?"  Sometimes it's hard to combat with these questions, making me doubt myself.  But then I go home at the end of a long day, and spend the evening with my family, and I realize how homesick I would be if I had moved away.  I go to sleep in my bedroom surounded by all the things that make me feel comfortable and at home, and I feel strong in who I am.  Going home in the evening everyday gives me time to recoop and reevaluate my day.  It gives me time to reconnect with my family and stay true to myself.  I am very close to my family.  I am not one of those who wanted to get far away as soon as possible.  I would be devistated if I lived so far away that I couldn't spend time with my sisters.  I can be myself with my family, and they give me support whenever I need it.

As for independence and freedom, I am on my own all day util I come home, making my own decisions.  I am responsible for my homework, and going to class on time.  I have the freedom to choose who I want to hang out with, to become who I want to be, to decide on the career path I want to pursue.  I came to TLU to get a quality education that will jump start my future.  Inndependence will come; I have my whole life ahead of me to be on my own.  Right now, I am thankful that I have the support of my family as I move through this transition. 

Dog Days

"H.O.T. Dogs" is TLU's annual day of service in the fall.  Volunteer driven individuals as well as entire sports teams spread throughout the community on this day to help wherever they can.  I have lived in Seguin since I was four years old, so this community service day is not new to me.  My Dad is the pastor of Mosaic Community Church which happens to be right across the street from the campus.  Our church is very motivated about being involved in our community.  For example, if you take a gander across Court Street, you'll see our ever growing community garden.  Because it is always growing, (both vegetables and in size) it requires a lot of work.  I have learned the backstage job of gardening: the watering, the planting, the digging, sweeping mulching, and the never ending weeding.  Before I started working in this garden I never really gave thought to the work that goes into them.  Since working in the garden, I have a better appreciation for everything from the flower beds I've always admired on campus, to the produce I get from H.E.B.

But where am I going with this?  Back to H.O.T. Dogs...

Every year in the fall, a whole crowd of TLU Bulldogs cross the street into our garden and completely transform it.  I may only have one t-shirt to show for it, but I've seen many more of these dog days.  This year, however, was the first year I got to participate as a true TLU college student.  It brought things full circle for me.  The students I worked beside when I was freshman in high school laying down stone, building vegetable beds, and pulling weeds are all graduated.  Now it's my turn to be a Hot Dog.  I still felt like a part of the Mosaic family, but for the first time I got to be a part of the TLU family as well.  It was a good feeling.  I was especially proud of our baseball and basketball teams who got a ton of work done in just a few hours.  When the day was over, I was very proud of everything we had accomplished.  Maybe I'm biased, but I think this is one of the best H.O.T. Dog Days we've ever had.

Putting Things in Perspective

I just finished watching a Ted Talk by Angela Lee Duckworth.  In her allotted six minutes, she discussed how perseverance and determination are more successful roads to success than mere IQ.  So far, I have found this idea to be true in my college classes.  My math professor gave out homework last week saying she would give more points to students who got the wrong answer but showed their work and would take away points from students who only wrote out the answers, even if they were right.  I was taken aback that I could actually get a better grade by working on a problem but not getting the right answer, than I could if I just wrote down all the correct answers.   Suddenly, I sat higher in my seat.  "I think I'm going to do really well in this course," I thought.  "Not because I'm a math whiz (I'm not), but because I have the determination to work through the problems and give them my best effort."  I think this is what Duckworth was saying in her Ted Talk.  You don't have to be the smartest kid in class to be a successful student.  You just have to be determined.  (Or "gritty" as she puts it.)

So what exactly is grit?   Grit, according to Angela Lee Duckworth is, "passion and perseverance for very long term goals.  Grit is having stamina.  Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality."  Then she sums it all up, "Grit is living life like its a marathon, not a sprint."  (03:02-03:27)  This is my favorite part of the whole video and I think the most significant.  This talk changed my perception of college.  I realized I had been living week to week instead of thinking about the broader picture.  I'm hear at TLU not just to get good grades, but to graduate with a degree so I can start a meaningful career.  I'm working towards a bigger goal than getting an "A" on my math homework.  This change of view puts things in perspective.  The fatigue and stress I'm feeling seems smaller now when I think of my future in terms of years instead of days.  Now I have a broader mission in my mind.  It was always there, but this talk helped bring it forward, something I need as my third daunting week approaches.  This video inspires me to see things from a different point of view, and motivates me to put a little more "grit" in my life.  I am passionate enough about starting a career that allows me to do what I love every day, and I hope I am persevering enough to get myself there.  

Duckworth, Angela Lee. Angela Lee Duckworth: The Key to Success? Grit. Ted: 

     Ideas worth Spreading. TED Conferences, 1984. Web. 7 Sept. 2013. 
     <http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit.html>. 

Do Re Mi

I first fell in love with Texas Lutheran University when I was very young.  The exact moment I decided to come to TLU is a mystery, but if I had to guess, I would say it was during a Vespers concert at Christmas time.  Every December, I am in awe of the music that fills Jackson Auditorium.  In high school, I told myself that I would be a part of that someday.  During my sophomore year of high school, my sisters and I joined the TLU/MTS Community Music Academy Youth choir, and this dream grew closer.  When I was accepted into TLU, I knew that choir was definitely something I was going to try for.

On August 26th I walked into the TLU Fine Arts building for my audition.  I was very nervous.  I've looked up to Dr. Boyer for so many years; it was intimidating to get up and sing for him.  Not only did my nerves cause me to stray completely off rhythm, I was also thrown for a loop by the sight reading and pitch memory.  I tried to save myself by saying I'd work on it, but I was feeling hopeless and shattered by the time the audition was over.

On August 27th, I reentered the Fine Arts building to check the choir roster for my name.  I held my breath as I leaned over a music stand to peer at the bulletin board.  To my great astonishment and joy, my name was on both lists.  I had managed to make it into the Women's Choir as well as the TLU Choir!  I was proud and overjoyed, but at the same time realized that I would have a lot to work on in order to succeed in these choirs.

On August 28th, I attended my first TLU choir practice.  During the first ten minutes, my assumptions were proved correct.  It was obvious that being in these choirs would be very different from being in the youth choir I was in in high school.  I knew that even more would be expected of me, that we would be tackling even harder music.  But not everything had changed.  I still felt that unmistakable camaraderie you get by being in a choir.  That same sense of safety and family I experienced in the youth choir during high school.  We were in this together;  I wasn't alone.  When I expressed some of my doubts to other choir members, they reassured me, and gave me advise.  It filled me with pride and happiness to be welcomed into the TLU choirs.  I know this transition will be a bumpy one at times, but the end result will be well worth it.

Keeping Calm and Being a Bulldog

The other day, I was working on some of my math homework, and there was this one problem I just couldn't get my head around.  The question went something like this, "There is a three by three square made out of nine dots.  Is it possible to connect these dots with four straight lines and without picking your pencil up from the paper?  If so, show how."  I worked over a span of two days trying to figure out the solution.  I tried folding, trial and error, and even considered cutting the thing up, but I still couldn't find the answer.  I was beginning to think it was a trick question and it was impossible after all, but from my experience of math questions, it usually isn't that simple.  I was beginning to doubt my ability.  Part of my brain was trying to convince me to give up and just leave that question blank, but I was determined to find the solution.

And, at last, after drawing and redrawing those nine dots an innumerable amount of times, I managed to connect every dot with exactly four lines.  No cheating.  It was only later that I realized it wasn't my mathmatecal ability that at last led me to the solution, it was my stubborn determination.  I was bound and determined to discover the answer.  Without this mental toughness, I would not have succeeded.

In fact, without mental toughness, I'm not sure I would have survived my first two days of college.  I've already discovered that college requires you to combat with many different challenges in a very short amount of time.  Whether it is working on a difficult math problem or making my own snow cone at my first college party, college life presents dozens of new experiences every day.  All of these changes and challanges propose difficulty,  but I am learning quickly how to stay focused and determined even when I feel like giving up.

It's like what our black and gold t-shirts say, "Keep calm and be a bulldog."  I think this has become our class's unspoken mantra.  If we just keep calm and stay mentally tough, I know we will all succeed at TLU.